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my body, my questions (pt 2): out of body, out of touch...

I still got questions...

Note: the content here is STILL raw, vulnerable, and honest. Reader's discretion advised.

Check out part#1 here. I am writing this piece for Men's Health Awareness Month.



Call to Action

Listen to the sound of your voice, your body, and your breathing as you read these questions aloud.



The Health...

  1. What does "healthy" mean to my body? No doctor visits? No aches and pains?

    1. How can I give definition to my body if I give no definition to my terms and conditions?

  2. What does "healthy" feel like for my body? In my body?

  3. What do I put on (in) my body?

    1. Foods

    2. Music

    3. Online Content

    4. Tinctures

    5. Soaps

    6. Clothes

    7. Pressure

    8. Bulletproof Vest?

  4. How am I (pre/re)positioning myself to preserve and protect my body? And from what? Against what?

  5. How do I detoxify my body after putting in (on) so many toxins in (on) my body?

  6. How are my gums, my gut, and my "guns" truth-tellers of my current health status?

  7. Why do I grind? grind my teeth? grind my body down?

  8. What if I just focus on drinking 10 cups of water a day?

  9. What if I just focus on having one less drink a week?

  10. What if I just stretch for 15 minutes each morning?

  11. Instead of great change, what kind of grace, healing, and liberation comes with "harm reduction," meaning reducing the harmful activities over time? (Thank you, Italo M. Brown, MD MPH)




The Romance...

  1. What do we tell our bodies when we are just hooking up, going on dates, exclusively dating, or getting married?

    1. What do our bodies say, scream, or whisper during these stages?

  2. What if we didn’t lead with sex but rather emotional intimacy?

  3. How do we use physical intimacy to be emotionally distant?

  4. How easy is it to give my body if I no longer reside in it or care about it?

  5. If I give you my body, does it mean I give you my love?

  6. How do we use sex as an escape, a fix, a drug, a trauma response, or a means of emotional distancing?

  7. How good or bad can my relationships be if I appear to be good to my body?

  8. What if I don’t have the muscles to carry a love interest physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually?

  9. What ex-lover(s) hold(s) hurt or pain in my body?

    1. Where is that pain located?

    2. How does that pain show in my body?

  10. How, when, and why did my body hurt another body?

  11. (Why) Does my body have the muscle memory of loving you? And hurting you?

    1. Does your body remember my body? for the love or the pain?

  12. Why (How) does my body remind you of your ex? your brother? your father?

  13. How can I trust you with the different private parts of my body? my life?

  14. Why do you question my sexuality if I don’t want to be touched or intimate with you or anyone else?

  15. Can being toxic be considered and (mis)treated like an STI?

  16. Why do I get weak in the knees more so when I take self-accountability rather than when I'm in love?




The Spirit...

  1. What does my exterior say about my interior?

  2. Is my body secular, sacred, substantive, sustainable, sick, or state-owned?

  3. Why do I drink spirits when my spirits are low?

  4. How do I keep faith and spirit in my body, especially when whiteness says I never had one to begin with?

  5. How can anyone take out or pour into my body if they do not believe in One Body?

  6. What are we going to clean out of our bodies if we see our bodies as sacred spaces and life-giving vessels?

  7. At what point can a hollow (body) fill another?

  8. If my knees are not dark, will He lay His body down for me?

  9. If I can't walk in the Spirit or in these streets, then how will I know my body is ready to walk with the people? And with the Spirit?




The Exploitation...

  1. What are (were) we told to hate about our bodies?

  2. How (un)willing am I to participate in the exploitation of my body if I am getting paid?

  3. If I drink the corporate Kool-Aid, how will my body react to the "dirty, dirty"?

  4. Who said I was suicidal? What's to say that the world isn't just homicidal?

  5. Why are you so quick (and sick) to record my lifeless body?

  6. Why are people not fazed when they see lifeless Black bodies broadcasted?

  7. Beyond just fight or flight, does my body know the difference between the end of the world, the end of me, and the world trying to end me?

  8. In a patriarchal society, who doesn't have daddy issues?

  9. Why do people lay with me but won't stand with me and my people?

  10. If you can fall in love with the color of my skin, the texture of my curls, and the lexicon from my lips, then can you also fall in love with my people's call (and need) for joy and justice?




The Future...

  1. When is the last time we spoke to our inner child?

  2. How often do we allow (our) young bodies to tell us where the health and the harm is?

    1. How often do we actually listen and sit with those bodily reactions, requests, respects, and ramblings?

  3. What are the signs and symptoms of a disordered society as opposed as to a disordered body?

  4. How can we keep parental bodies in homes, in close proximity, and in love with all bodies under one roof?

  5. How can we recognize and celebrate (our) younger bodies that may not look like, feel like, walk like, war like, conform like, care like (our) older bodies?

  6. What philosophies and practices can we instill in our young people to ensure that their bodies, minds, and spirits stay whole, healthy, and humanized, especially in fragmented households and home countries?

  7. What if we told our young people to stand in the mirror and take 5 minutes a day to practice saying “I love you” “Thank you” and “what do you need at this time”?

  8. How can we nurture and encourage young bodies to grow into and strive for their most self-loving, most authentic, and most empowered evolved states of being and becoming?

  9. Why do our young Black bodies grow up too fast or rarely grow old and wise?

  10. Why are our young Black bodies treated and trapped in adult situations and adult sentences?

  11. What bodies of tools, resources, and people can we assemble and call on for ourselves, our ancestors, and our kids in order to disengage and or break from a cycle of intergenerational trauma?

  12. How do we keep (our) younger bodies safe from harmful, orbiting older bodies in our family system, in our political system, and in our solar system?



The Dialogue...

Leave a comment about one question that resonated with you. What are your thoughts?


The Inspirations...

  • This set of questions has been inspired by a healing circle for teachers. Support one of my wellness guides and mentors.

  • This piece also has been inspired by ongoing conversation with friend and mentor, Ms. Clayborne, founder of the Kerengende Foundation--an organization that focuses on the safety and healing of girls and women who have experienced sexual trauma. Support here.

  • Big shout-outs to Dr. Italo Brown, assistant professor of emergency medicine at Stanford University.

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